The Importance of Being Lauren

Back in December 2022 I was getting into the habit of going to the gym. My nightly routine consisted of eating dinner, complaining about going to the gym, talking to the cat, and then actually go to the gym. On December 12th I was on my way to the gym, and stopped to talk to the cat for a few minutes. As soon as I uttered the words, "Bye kitty girl" I put a foot on the stairs. The next thing I know I am on the sidewalk and laying flat on my back. Apparently, the stairs were completely covered in black ice. It took me a second to start feeling the pain and as I laid on the sidewalk I let the longest stream of English and Spanish curse words leave my mouth.  It was dark outside so none of the neighbors saw the fall, but they definitely heard me. My hair was in a low bun on the back of my head, so it took the brunt of the force when my head hit the ground. However, my butt, back, elbow, and wrists did not fair as well. I let myself sit in shocked silence for a few minutes, and t...

One of the most common questions I get is, "why did you leave New York City". The story I am about to tell you perfectly illustrates why I left the city.  I only had to take one bus to get to work. I would walk from 138th street up to the 145th street to take the BX19 bus to the Bronx. I liked to take the bus at 6:15-20ish because it is never super packed that early in the morning. This particular morning I was a little bit late, so I got on around 6:30. The Broadway and 145th stop is only the 2nd one on this route, so I was easily able to find a seat at the back of the bus.  I was sitting in a seat that was in front of the last row. We were 2 more stops in when a homeless lady walked onto the bus and sat in the last row, directly behind me. At this point the bus was pretty full, so there wasn't anywhere to move. She smelled putrid, she had obviously just pooped her pants and the entire bus smelled like it. I thought I was going to throw up. I was wearing a mask and I cou...