The Importance of Being Lauren

Week 7 physical therapy appointment is DONE. I came in an hour early today because they had a bunch of cancellations. My appointment was supposed to start at 5:15, but I took a short lunch and came in around 4:15. My PT said that my walking was looking good when I walked into the office. I gave him a grumpy look and told him that I am still not super confident with walking. I've been having stabbing pains around one of my incisions when I walk. He provided a little comfort in saying that it's actually good if the pain isn't happening every time I walk. Then as I started talking about my re-injury anxiety, he told me to go to the stationary bike. He mixed it up and I was told to not use my hands and he turned up the resistance. I started peddling my little heart out. I walked on the treadmill for a while and tried walking backwards for the first time. We bickered because the treadmill was making a noise like a marble or something was stuck in it. He was like "what is th

Week 6 Update: I was officially released from my brace and the last crutch. It has been an exhilarating and terrifying few days. Exhilarating because I was finally able to wear pants for the first time in 6 weeks. Terrifying because I am walking without an aid for the first time in 6 weeks. I have a spot on my knee cap that causes searing pain when I walk for too long, so I am trying to take it easy. I am also super scared of reinjuring myself, so I have been taking very slow and deliberate steps.   I saw the surgeon for my 6-week follow up appointment on Wednesday. I was excited to discuss my progress and healing. However, I was surprised to find him upset. I had the first appointment of the day, and he was 20 minutes late, so perhaps something happened before he got in to work. First, he was upset because I had a hard time relaxing my leg (as always). Then he told me my knee was too stiff and I needed to start moving it. He was concerned when I told him my flexion is at 85 with stret

When I was at BYU I became obsessed with Tropical Smoothie. I had finally reached my free smoothie reward for buying 10 smoothies, so I decided to take one home to drink the next morning. I got my two favorite flavors, the mango and Pomegranate Plunge! The next morning I was looking forward to walking to campus while sipping on my perfect blend. I started my walk from Centennial Apartments and came across a parked shuttle going toward campus. I decided to forgo walking to save some time. I went to the backdoor of the bus, and just as I took my first step up the doors closed. My beloved smoothie exploded as the door completely destroyed the cup. Losing the smoothie was bad enough but then the bus jerked forward and I realized that my wrist was stuck in the door. Thankfully some people told the bus driver that I was stuck in the door, and he only drove a few feet with me running to keep up. The door opened and I was released from my prison. Instead of climbing in I ended up walking to ca

I am super excited to announce that I am down to using ONE crutch! I am able to go up and down the stairs much easier, walk faster, and put weight on my left leg. Let me tell you, being able to get up and down the stairs has been life changing! My outings the last 5 weeks have been limited (except for appointments) because it was so difficult to deal with the stairs. I feel like I have so much more freedom now! I even went to the grocery store with my mom on Saturday. I rode in the little mobility cart and I was FLYING.  At PT on Thursday, I was able to bend my leg to 75% without pain, and 80% with a little pulling. I completed 10 minutes on the exercise bike, 10 minutes on the treadmill (my brace slid down and started cutting into my ankle), and leg lifts with 2lbs weights on my ankles. I am always a little apprehensive when trying new exercises, much to the chagrin of my physical therapist. My most used phrase is, "Just give me a second, I need to think about this." One of

I absolutely loved my first NYC apartment. The kitchen was amazing, there was a ton of space to host events, we had laundry in unit, and the apartment got a ton of natural light. Plus, I lived with some of my favorite roommate of all time there. As much as I loved it, it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. We lived above a "phone store" that moonlighted as a weed dispensary (not legal), and people were constantly smoking pot outside our windows.  Another issue with the area was the cars that parked on our street. Typically the parked cars were just an eyesore, but one day Satan parked his car on our street to torment the whole neighborhood. His car had the loudest and most high pitched car alarm I have ever heard. It also had a recorded voice that said "caution this car is protected by a sniper" at the end of it's song. Annoying, yes, however, it gets worse. The alarm system was incredibly sensitive. It would start if someone walked past it, or if there were l

My family is hosting the church "chat and chew" event tomorrow. I haven't been able to help with very many chores since my surgery, so I wanted to exert some effort to contribute. I decided that cleaning the bathroom would be the easiest task because it's a small space. It took me way longer than usual, but in 30 minutes I cleaned the sink, mirrors, and toilet. As I was making my way over to clean the shower, I accidently knocked over some cleaning products and had to clean up a spill. I thought I had dried all the bleach with a few paper towels, and didn't realize that some of the bleach was on the bottom of my foot. So when I got up to clean the shower I put my right foot down to take a step, and then next thing I know I am air-bound.  Caught me slippin' When I gained consciousness I freaked out. Apparently I had blacked out when the back of my head hit the (recently cleaned) toilet bowl. I sat there for a minute dazed and trying to assess the damage. My bra

I can officially bend my leg to 70 degrees, my quad is finally firing at a satisfactory rate, and I took my first steps (on the crutches) without my brace on! I was terrified to take the first steps. I was very apprehensive and kept saying, "I can't. I'm scared. I need my emotional support leg brace." My physical therapist said, "It's just like walking with the brace. The brace doesn't do nearly as much as you think it does. Just put 50% weight on your left leg. " After a minute or two of freaking out, I was finally able to take my first few steps. I walked over to the treadmill, figured out how to get up, and then I practiced walking my left leg on the treadmill. We focused on making sure I put the weight on my heel first. It felt great to start re-learning how to walk post surgery! Toward the end of the session my PT wanted me to try the hip abduction exercises with a band over both of my knees. I had the brilliant idea of sitting on the table and

My faith deconstruction happened when COVID started in 2020. I was experiencing major burn out from grad school, teaching, TFA commitments, and holding 2 callings at church. I decided at the beginning of March 2020 to take a break from the church. Then the pandemic started, and everything went to crap. I tried to participate with the Zoom church meetings, but felt disconnected from the ward. I felt really lonely and didn't know how to process the emotions I was feeling about my religion. I started listening a podcast called  Not So Molly Mormon  and felt an instant connection to the hosts. They brought a lot of levity and understanding to faith deconstruction and it helped me feel like I wasn't alone.  A few months after finding the podcast, I listened to an episode that featured a guy named Noah who lived in NYC. At the end of his episode he shared information for an NYC Ex-Mormon Meet Up group that he organized. I immediately found the group and reached out. We set up a meet

Week 3 post-op is done! I am able to bend my leg 65 degrees and put 50% weight on my left leg. Progress is being made and I could not be happier. If everything goes well, I should be able to start walking without the crutches next week.  PT: This week I set a 7am Thursday appointment and met with the physical therapy assistant. She was so great! I got to do a seated bike work out, she taught me some new exercises, and helped me learn how to break down scar tissue forming under my incisions. While we were chatting it came up that she has a week-long NYC trip coming up but didn't have solid plans yet. I was able to share my carefully compiled "Best of NYC " spreadsheet with her. When I got home I went to LDS tools because she looked super familiar, and as it turns out she's in my stake! Logan is definitely a small town.  I had a follow up with my primary care at 7am on Friday to check my blood pressure! My BP on 04/07 was 182/69, and now its at 124/72! Modern medicine i