The Importance of Being Lauren

This all started while I was feeling sad because Ross didn't have any emo shoes in stock!! Through my sorrow I noticed that I didn't know where my family was, so I started walking around trying to find them. (Not that it's hard to) I was looking down each of the aisle trying to find everybody when I saw her !! She was an older woman, obviously from Hispanic descent, she was um....a heavier set lady. Honestly it wasn't her that I saw......It was her tight gold shirt that had some very interesting letters on it! Across the saggyness right above her belly it read," Sexy !" in rhinestone letters!!!!!! (See I told you very, very interesting ......) I cannot lie! I laughed so hard I fell over on the floor, and then of course I had to share this moment with my mom. She acted very stealthy while taking a sneaky peek down the aisle, sadly her stealthiness was ruined when she came back and started laughing with me. Then she was wondering why in the world would she we...

Recently I had the pleasure of reading this wonderful "coming of age" book....... The Gospel According to Larry. Truthfully one of the only reason I even looked at this book is because of the cover. Hey , I didn't judge it until I actually read it......... This book made me: Cry buckets, scream in frustration, laugh out loud many times, and feel sad for the main character Josh aka. Larry. This is Josh's story about how his life completely crumbles after make in the hit website.... TheGospelAccordingtoLarry.com . He created this website to show the world how he saw things through his "Sermons". They were mostly about anti-consumerism. I didn't actually agree with all the things that he wrote, but I'm a sucker for books like this..... * You may not want to read this book if you: Cry easily, or if you can't stand preachy books. For everyone else I think you might like it......*

I was sitting on my moms bed talking, and waiting for the accursed Parental Blocks to allow me back on the computer when this happened........ Me: Buster, pretty please may I read your Boy Scout popcorn brochure! You know how much I love reading it!! Buster: No. It's mine. Me: But.......But for all these years I've let you read my American Girl magazines!! Buster: *gasp* What? *frantic jerking of his head* Mom, I have no idea what she is talking about! Me: *evil grin* Yet you do Buster....Don't you remember when you got in that cat-fight with Warden Monkey for the last issue? I mean with all the injuries you sustained from that, I thought that you might remember. Buster: *Incomprehensible murmuring and dirty looks* Me: Can I read your brochure now ?...... *The sad thing about all of this is that I didn't even get to read the brochure, even after all of that!! Oh, well....*

Once a very long time ago this happened to me. This story is probably old enough to have "Once Upon a Time" in the beginning......I promise!! The picture above is from one of my least favorite movies otherwise known as Willy Wonka . It's not that it wasn't good , I just didn't like the singing Oompa Loompas and weird chocolate tunnel scenes. I had nightmares about them for months after I watched the movie! Violet Beauregarde was one of my favorite characters from that movie so one day I decided to try what she did to perserve her gum. That's right I stuck it right behind my ear before I went to bed one night. When I arose in the morning I did not remember it so I started my day as usual. Though as soon as I got to the bathroom mirror the memory hit me. You can probably guess what happened next.....First my mom got mad at me, second I was forbidden to chew gum ever again, and last and least painful some of my hair had to be cut off. Just when I thought I co...

It was the beginning of Kung-Fu class, and we were doing some jump-kicks. I was in a good mood, and I decided to try to jump farther than my usual puny jumping distance. I did jump longer, but sadly I landed in a weird (and hurtful) position. I was in shock for a moment and then the pain hit me while I tried to walk back to the line. I knew that I wouldn't make it through the rest of class so I hobbled over to Master J. and whispered through my pain,"I hurt my ankle and I don't think I can do jump-kicks anymore!!" Master J. told me to sit until I felt better. I waited a couple of minutes and then my ankle started swelling so I went to tell my mom. As soon as I got outside I let go of the tears and let them flow as I sobbed my story to her. After class was over Buster told me how one boy asked him when I was sitting in the corner,"Whoa! What happened to Klutz Girl ?" Buster was confused who " Klutz Girl " was so he didn't answer. The boy then a...