The Importance of Being Lauren

I got to my physical therapy appointment 15 minutes early. As I was sitting there in pain because I didn't have a way to elevate my leg one of my friend's from the admissions department stopped to chat. He had his ACL surgery back in March so he was coming from his physical therapy appointment. He told me about his recovery and all the things he has been able to do post surgery. It gave me so much hope for my own recovery process.  I was dumb and wore short shorts under a skirt. I thought that would be fine, but the skirt was too long. So I kept having to lift it up for the exercises. It was super annoying and I will not be making that mistake again. I was a little self conscious because my dawgs (toes) were out on my left foot because I couldn't reach my toes. I apologized to my physical therapist, because free dawgs are kind of gross. (I have an aversion to feet) Little did I know, that would not be the grossest thing in the appointment. My pre-op paper work said to not s...

Once I overcoming the humiliating stairs experience I got set up in my bed. I elevated my leg, took the pain meds, and pretty much just slept for the next three days. I was in-and-out of sleep from Thursday evening until Monday morning. The only time I got up was to use the bathroom. It was a horrible time to have surgery because I was on my period, couldn't properly sit on the toilet, and I couldn't shower. I smelled terrible. The anesthesia working through my body also added to the terrible smell. My mom said that I smelled like stinky skunk weed. After living in NYC for a few years, I was often assaulted by awful smells. The closest thing I can say I smelled like was a homeless person (see poop fingers story). By Sunday, I couldn't take it anymore. I needed a shower and clean clothes so bad.  My first physical therapy appointment was set for 8:30am on Monday morning. I knew I couldn't go in being all smelly so I came up with a plan. Thankfully the shower was built fo...

Meeting the surgeon for the first time was nerve wracking. He went on a 10-minute tangent about how he has a knee surgeon friend who opted to not get ACL surgery and that it is an option to live without one. He told me that I would have to give up tennis and volleyball because they are pivot sports. I was super interested in the non-surgical option. I told him that I would be interested in just going to PT to get my normal gait back. I think he may have forgotten who he was talking to, because after talking for a bit, he pulled up my MRI and then backtracked everything he had just recommended. "Oh wait. You have a torn medial meniscus; no, you have to have surgery to get that fixed. While I'm in there I can just fix the ACL as well." He also told me that have mal tracking in my left kneecap. Apparently, my body leans to the left and my kneecap had been pushing toward the left side of my knee.  I got my surgery scheduled and fell into the ACL Reddit and read hundreds of ar...

2 Hours Before the Incident: I should have known that I had done something to piss off the universe. I left work a bit early for a dentist appointment, and missed every single light on my way to the office. Then I had to wait an additional 45 minutes before being called back. I didn't mind waiting though because I got sucked into My Millionaire Dream Home on HGTV.  The signs from the universe actually when I sat in the chair. I was chatting with my dental hygienist and getting my teeth cleaned, when all of a sudden I heard a pop. I was so confused as to where the pop came from. I sat up and my glasses slid down my face. The pop, in question, was my glasses literally disintegrating on my face. I guess they lost the will to live. I went through the rest of my appointment practically blind. I still don't know what even happened. The glasses were barely a year old! 1 Hour Before the Incident: Since I didn't have my back-up glasses, I had to wear my prescription sunglasses to d...

New York City in the summer is Satan's literal anus. It smells bad and it's hot as hell. In an effort to help people in the city cool down, the fire department opens up the fire hydrants. Many people use the open water as a splash pad or a car wash. I preferred to close the curtains and lay in front of a fan for hours at a time. But to each their own, right? I lived down the street from the 1 Train at 135th and used that train almost exclusively to get to Amelia and Dillon's house. The 1 train was more reliable than the life ruining M11 bus, even though I liked taking the bus to the West Side way more. Anyway, since I practically lived on their couch on the weekend, the trip from Hamilton Heights to the West Side was familiar.  On this particular occasion, I had dinner plans with Amelia and Dillon and I was already running behind. I decided to walk on the right side of the street so I could pick up dessert at the grocery store before getting on the train. For reference, I N...