The Importance of Being Lauren

It all started when I was stretching in Kung-Fu. When I stretch I don't think about anything but stretching, so a lot of times I don't realize what's going on around me. That's why this happened to me....... I knew something was up when I saw all the people next to me move to get farther down the bar. Sadly the only thing I that went through my mind was," Man, do I stink that bad? How can that be? I just took a shower!" For about five seconds more it was silent in the room, (the silence should have been a huge sign that there was something wrong) and then I heard yelling! And it was right next to me! I turned around as quickly as I could and there was Master J. and he was yelling saying," You deaf? You not hear? Move over there." And he pointed to a crowded spot on the wall. I made the mistake of looking up, and I saw that everybody in the whole room was watching me in silence. I blushed so hard my arms started to burn, and then I looked at the g...

I can't seem to hold in my craziness/weirdness anytime, but it seems like when I eat it gets worse. So the only thing I had working in my favor when my family went to Golden Corral Saturday was my table manners........ The Good Part: Uh....I didn't eat anything that made me feel sick, and I got perfectly cooked Brussels sprouts. (Ooh. Are you jealous? Yeah, I didn't think so.) The Bad Part: I went up for dessert, and as usual I couldn't decide because everything looked good. After a couple minutes of careful consideration of each option I went with the banana pudding. (It was fresh, and I saw the lady make it. And it looked really good.) So I walked up and the moment I grabbed the spoon the Twinkies slogan popped into my head, and refused to stay inside. I thought that I was safe because I didn't see anyone around me so I opened my mouth and said," Where's the cream filling? Now that's the stuff... Hostess !" I did the voice and everything!!!! I d...