Dating Misadventures: Dates #11 and #12

I took a short break from dating apps for a few weeks but I am back on the grind. I haven't been on a date since before my Wyoming trip in mid-June but heavens knows I have been talking to a lot of people. I know a lot of people say that dating is a numbers game but this is getting ridiculous. I have had 97 (as of 07/16) matches on Tinder since I redownloaded a week or so ago and I am trying to be proactive about messaging. Out of messaging 97 people I secured 1 date, have had consistent conversations with 7 guys, and been unmatched 5 times. 

Actual footage of me clocking into my second full-time job messaging men on dating apps. 

Date #11 was so nice. He took me to an ice cream place in Ogden and we walked around downtown while we ate and chatted. I got a chocolate and cherry flavor and he got something minty. It was a nice time. We talked about movies, school, and our cultural backgrounds. He called me out for taking forever to respond to text messages (to be fair, I am usually fast when I am texting people I already know). We hung out for an hour and half and overall it was a good experience. I felt bad because he texted consistently through my Wyoming and New York trips but I haven't been great about responding. We also live 80 miles away from each other and long distance seems exhausting. My ADHD brain keeps thinking about reaching out but I am experiencing decision paralysis. I know how much it stinks to get ghosted but I am terrible at ending things. 😞

I am a SLOOT for ice cream.

Date #12 was also very nice. We were supposed to go on a hike but ended up doing a nature walk instead. He said that he was too out of shape to do the longer and more strenuous hike. He told me about his experiences with ADHD. As we chatted he interrupted me so often that I was starting to get a bit annoyed. I am well acquainted with the struggles that people with ADHD have about wanting to get information out, but damnnnnn boy, let me talk. Overall, it was fine but I think we are at really different places in our lives. I am looking for an equal partner and our lifestyles do not appear to be compatible at all. I am not sure why I keep matching with such low energy guys. He doesn't do much other than watch movies and play video games.

Two ADHD'ers in the woods.

One thing that I am learning is that I don't have to convince myself to like someone just because they show interest in me. I fell into that trap with Parker and we all know how that ended. 👀 

I have been looking into challenges many women face when dating with ADHD. After getting diagnosed a few weeks ago I have been able to contextualize my experiences with Parker and understand why I rushed into things (spoiler alert: I was chasing the dopamine). I have been able to show a lot more self-compassion now that I know that my brain is not neurotypical and I am so grateful for the diagnosis.