Dating Misadventures: Maturing and Improving My Communication Skills

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I follow A LOT of dating accounts on Instagram. I started following them after I realized that I have a lot of deficits in my knowledge about dating. It has been helpful in figuring out what my red flags (icks) are and correcting improper behaviors. As I noted in my last post I am terrible about ending things because I hate to be perceived as mean. I thought about all the guys that have ghosted me on the apps and I decided that I don't want to be that person. 

I reached out to dates #11 and #12 today and wrote them heartfelt messages thanking them for the dates we went on but telling them that I don't think we are a match. Both responded right away and thanked me for letting them know. It felt like a relief to communicate and not lead them on. They are both really nice guys and I am grateful that I met them. As I have gone through my brief dating journey I have learned that I don't have to convince myself to like someone just because they like me. I know that the first date is not always a perfect indicator of a good match. However, date #12 and I are at very different points of our lives. He has a lot of debt, doesn't make good choices about his health and wellness, and is overall a lot more low energy than me. Date #11 is super nice and we both have stable careers, however, we don't have a lot of shared interests or the similar backgrounds.

I am grateful that I told them instead of just ghosting. My ADHD brain has been agonizing about how to end things with both of them for weeks. Finally I couldn't take the anxiety of inaction anymore so I went to my trusty sidekick ChatGPT for inspiration.

I want to be a better communicator because I want to find someone who is good at communicating. It's easy to get frustrated with online dating. I am up to talking to 165+ people across two apps and it's exhausting. I have two dates coming up this weekend that I am really excited about. Both of the guys have planned the dates and have been really fun to talk to. I am looking forward to seeing what happens. 

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