The Importance of Being Lauren

My fear of Lawn-Guys started last Summer, I will tell the story in third-person because I have to practice writing it..... It all started when a young unsuspecting thirteen year old was outside practicing Kung-Fu. The poor girl had been trying to teach her younger sister (unsuccessfully) the form and she was sweaty, tired, and irritable. When her little sister left she practiced on her own. The while doing a jump kick a truckload of Lawn-Guys passed and they honked and yelled at her. The girl was mortified! She decided to finish practicing because never in a million and one years did she think that they would come around again. This girl was completely foolish; because they did come back, and they were even louder the next time! Completely ticked at these strangers she threw down her Bo-staff in frustration because she knew she couldn't do anything about their childish attitudes, and she stomped angrily into her house. As she glared out the window she mumbled to her embarrassed...

Merry Christmas everybody!!! This afternoon I took on the chore of listening to the piled up messages on my moms phone. It's really is a grueling job, but I enjoy doing it. Anyway back to what happened...... So first I went through the usual boring messages, and then I heard the formal serious voice in the receiver say,"Um...I would like to tell you that your daughter Monkey has won our Colossal Stocking !!!" I screamed at Monkey who was playing on the computer,"You won, you won the Ginormous Colossal Stocking!!!!" I was jumping up and down while saying all of that, while Monkey's face was completely passive and she shrugged her shoulders and said,"So...." I was shocked, because when I won last year I was so excited I practically died of happiness. (check here for pictures of my Christmas booty.) When I was finished being happy for her unimpressed self; she told me that the only slip she put in was the one I filled out for her !! What can I sa...

Last night my mom took us on a walk around our neighborhood. I love walking, and it makes it even more fun when we bring Reagan the flower sniffing dog. I made it a little over half way before I had to stop to tie my untied shoe lace that kept tripping me. I decided to stop at a stop sign. As I was kneeling I felt something poking my knees badly. Finally I was able to get up to look at my knees and I cried,"No!!! I can't believe out of this whole yard I found the spot with all the thistles !!!! Ow. Ow. *pain dance* Great now I have them on my knees and my fingers.......This is just perfect." The pain dance I did was pretty amusing to my siblings. Well I'm glad that somebody got a laugh out of my pain.......

This is what the real Breakfast Bowl looks like! A couple months ago my mom and I tried the new Jack In The Box breakfast bowl; courtesy of my grandmother. I was pretty hungry that morning so I asked my mom for the big bowl, instead my wise mother said,"You've never had it before, how are you sure you'll like it?" She of course won, and we both got a small. It smelled so good and I was almost tempted to open it right then and there but I waited like the good girl I am. Finally we stopped and I opened the container holding what I thought was breakfast deliciousness; as I opened it I found that the ad on TV was a total scam! The bowl of "food" on my lap looked like really bad dog food that even my dog who eats practically everything wouldn't eat. "I'm sure it'll taste fine.", I told myself as I took a small bite of it. I was wrong, so wrong I tell you. It was absolutely horrid! I couldn't believe that somebody would actually sell...

This girl is very nice, but she dumbs herself down to impress the boys. (I'm not quite sure why ) So this post is not against her, and I'm not trying to be mean. Yesterday one of the rude boys in my class asked the girl mentioned above,"Hey, did you know that I have a pet ferret?" "A ferret!” she exclaimed in a valley girl voice that I usually only hear in movies . "Isn't that like a half bird thing?" All the rude boys laughed so hard that they fell of their rear ends. "What?", cried the girl in a fake pitiful (valley girl) voice. "I know that ferrets are half bird, half rat animals!" I was so shocked that somebody would actually say something like that! The shock was so great that I couldn't move from the doorway where I was attempting to make my escape from those people. (I use the term people lightly, they're more like savages.) Her absolutely brilliant response to what the rude boys said next was,"*giggle* ...

A few minutes ago after I finished working on the awfulness called Algebra. I felt like my head was going to implode from all the knowledge that I had just attained from studying, so I decided to rest my head on the inflated balloon that rested on the shelf right next to me. It felt really good...... until I moved a little bit, and then B A N G !!!!! For about five minutes after my accident I was seeing psychedelic colors flying at me from all around the room, and seeing my sister in double! After I recovered from that I realized that my balloon was not free, but that he was beimg held captive to the Evil Decorated Cement Block Party Balloon Weight Thingy ! (I knew my balloon wasn't evil enough to lead me unto major head injuries!) *Lesson learned from this: Do not use a balloon for a pillow, because it may be working (under captivity) for the Evil Decorated Cement Block Party Balloon Weight Thingy ....That is all.*