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An Angel in a Silver Toyota Sedan

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I moved to Tremonton this past weekend, and it came with a lot of changes. It marked the end of an era: no more living with roommates. Instead, it’s the beginning of something new, a step closer to marriage with my fiancé. We spent the past couple of days getting settled in. I unpacked everything in my craft room, spent time with my fiancé and his dog, and spent some time on Sunday relaxing. I saw a rainbow when I left for work this morning and it felt like a little reminder of my awesome weekend.  I can't be in the car without some kind of background noise, and since none of my favorite podcasts post before 7am on Mondays, I queued up the Jeremy Renner memoir I've been listening to. It's about his accident a few years back! I was locked in and cruising at about 60mph down the quiet backcountry road, heading toward the highway. Out of nowhere, a car coming from the opposite direction flashed its headlights at me. I was so confused. Was something wrong with my car? I immedia...
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I started therapy again about two weeks ago. I have had really terrible anxiety for years and very recently experienced a depressive episode that lasted 1.5 years due to extreme burnout. I have always been an overachiever and being in a prolonged depressive state was very difficult for me. I ended up gaining 40 pounds during this period and hit my highest weight ever, 280 pounds. It was bad. My mental and physical health was deteriorating and I was generally unwell.   After taking control of my physical health again post-surgery (May 2023) I felt my mental health improving as well. My new job has been mentally stimulating and I feel fulfilled at work. I also started making plans with my post-work time. I exercise, spend time with friends and family, hike, take classes, volunteer, read, and do fun craft projects. My therapist's notes identify me as a "well-rounded person".   Post-situationship I realized that my mental health was not where it needs to be to engage in ...
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Dating Misadventures: In Situationship Recovery

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I met my birthday twin at the end of February and things progressed rather ummm... quickly. In the span of two weeks I went from never holding hands with a guy or having my first kiss to much much more.  😬 To be honest, I was not physically attracted to him at first but my parents encouraged me to not be picky and to give him a chance. As I got to know him I really liked his personality. He was nice, funny, smart, and a good listener. The more I liked his personality the more I felt attracted to him. I liked spending time with him and always felt like the time flew by. We hung out pretty regularly for a few weeks and I was convinced that we were going to take the next steps to being in a relationship. I was DELUSIONAL. All the signs were there that he was looking for a good time and not a long time. Unlike coffee shop boy, my birthday twin did not tell me, "I just want you to know going into it don't see it going any further than a fling." His actions, however, said the ...
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