The Importance of Being Lauren

I took a short break from dating apps for a few weeks but I am back on the grind. I haven't been on a date since before my Wyoming trip in mid-June but heavens knows I have been talking to a lot of people. I know a lot of people say that dating is a numbers game but this is getting ridiculous. I have had 97 (as of 07/16) matches on Tinder since I redownloaded a week or so ago and I am trying to be proactive about messaging. Out of messaging 97 people I secured 1 date, have had consistent conversations with 7 guys, and been unmatched 5 times.  Actual footage of me clocking into my second full-time job messaging men on dating apps.  Date #11 was so nice. He took me to an ice cream place in Ogden and we walked around downtown while we ate and chatted. I got a chocolate and cherry flavor and he got something minty. It was a nice time. We talked about movies, school, and our cultural backgrounds. He called me out for taking forever to respond to text messages (to be fair, I am usually f

I lived in NYC during the pandemic. It was a very stressful time to be in the city, and I spent a lot of it completely alone. As the restrictions started getting lifted in mid 2022 I decided that it was time to try my hand at dating. My social anxiety had gotten so bad during my break from people and I had gained a ton of weight from stress eating. After catching COVID a few times I was sure that I had permanently destroyed my lungs, but I met a really nice guy on Hinge and we planned a hiking date in upstate New York. He was driving in from Jersey and I took the train up to Cold Springs from Manhattan. I was worried about not being able to hike because I had not engaged in physical activity outside of walking for at least a year. I guess I should have been more afraid of potentially getting murdered, and I was a bit but not enough to not go. The walk from the train to the trailhead winded me and I started to dread the meet up. We started chatting and walking and I needed breaks almost

I started therapy again about two weeks ago. I have had really terrible anxiety for years and very recently experienced a depressive episode that lasted 1.5 years due to extreme burnout. I have always been an overachiever and being in a prolonged depressive state was very difficult for me. I ended up gaining 40 pounds during this period and hit my highest weight ever, 280 pounds. It was bad. My mental and physical health was deteriorating and I was generally unwell.   After taking control of my physical health again post-surgery (May 2023) I felt my mental health improving as well. My new job has been mentally stimulating and I feel fulfilled at work. I also started making plans with my post-work time. I exercise, spend time with friends and family, hike, take classes, volunteer, read, and do fun craft projects. My therapist's notes identify me as a "well-rounded person".   Post-situationship I realized that my mental health was not where it needs to be to engage in a hea

Boy oh boy do I love a spreadsheet! I have a spreadsheet for many things in my life so I decided to create one for my dating life.  The data below includes information from the last 10 dates I've been on (which just so happens to be all the dates I've been on in my adult life). I have been slacking on my two date monthly minimum but I am working on making up for lost time.  My new hobby may result in quarterly updates. I am excited to see the data change over time!  In all seriousness, the real reason I made the spreadsheet is to do some reflection on myself and my approach to dating. I am tracking my behavior, the interactions post date, interesting things I learned about the person, and notes on my own approach to dating. This spreadsheet is a tool for improvement! As a perfectionist I have made it my mission to crack the code on dating and become the world’s best potential girlfriend (kidding). I also want to show my future partner the absolute dating shit show I have gone t

I have been crushing on a guy from the work gym for 2 years now. I see him almost every day because we always park next to each other. I have seen him on multiple dating apps but we have never matched (which should have been my first sign that he is not interested in me). A while back I wet on an intense deep-dive into his life. On this deep dive I accidentally uncovered his freshman year of college Prezi online. (oopies)  Anyway, I think he is so cute and I like that we both have similar educational backgrounds, we both workout, and he is gainfully employed. I have been too nervous to talk to him for the last 2 years but an event occurred in the parking garage in February and I had my in.  Setting the scene: It was an bright and early Tuesday morning. It may have been slushy outside but I don't remember. I pull into my usual spot in the parking garage (backed in by the pole). After backing up I look at my phone for a second and then I heard a sickening crunch. I look up quickly an

I do not typically go on hiking dates for first dates, but I matched with a guy who claimed to be super into hiking. We chatted for a few days after matching and then he asked for my number. He seemed nice enough and I was sold when he said he wanted to bring his dog on the date. We planned to meet at the a trailhead that has options for a few different trails. I was chatting with my sister and looking at the baby geese as I waited for them. It was a windy and chilly Sunday morning and I was looking forward to starting the hike.  We exchanged pleasantries and I met his dog, Moose. I chose the trail that I am most familiar with and we started our journey. Things were a bit awkward right off the bat, but I was determined to not be super judgmental. One mile into the hike he starts to tell me about his heavy weed use. I was like, "oh wow. That's so interesting". Then seconds later he says, "Well, I gotta wazz." Um sir, we had only been on the trail for a few minute

I met my birthday twin at the end of February and things progressed rather ummm... quickly. In the span of two weeks I went from never holding hands with a guy or having my first kiss to much much more.  😬 To be honest, I was not physically attracted to him at first but my parents encouraged me to not be picky and to give him a chance. As I got to know him I really liked his personality. He was nice, funny, smart, and a good listener. The more I liked his personality the more I felt attracted to him. I liked spending time with him and always felt like the time flew by. We hung out pretty regularly for a few weeks and I was convinced that we were going to take the next steps to being in a relationship. I was DELUSIONAL. All the signs were there that he was looking for a good time and not a long time. Unlike coffee shop boy, my birthday twin did not tell me, "I just want you to know going into it don't see it going any further than a fling." His actions, however, said the

When I was in NYC last November I matched with a few guys. One of them was ethically monogamous so I was immediately not interested. The other guy seemed pretty normal. He really wanted to meet up but I had caught a cold from my friends so I was really not up to meeting him in real life. We chatted all day on Sunday and I left Monday morning. I expected to never hear from him again, so imagine my surprise when he called me on Tuesday morning. I texted him and said, "Um... Did you butt dial? Why are you calling me at work? Don't you have a job?" He texted back and said that he meant to call and to call me back during my lunch. I expected to chat for 15 minutes tops, but we ended up chatting for 45 minutes. We talked about religion, soaking, BYU, our favorite episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm, and movies we both liked. It was a very nice and wholesome conversation until he said, "Do you want to know how I lost my virginity?" I listened politely and at one point I s

Ooooh boy. This date story is a doozy. I matched with a guy on Facebook Dating (I know, don't judge) in early March. We chatted a bit about our love for Costco and loathing for dating apps. He lamented the fact that he has been on dating apps for years but has only been on a few dates. I have learned to be pretty assertive in my brief time on the dating scene so I proposed a date. We made plans for the following weekend. I suggested meeting halfway in Brigham City on a Sunday for a walk and drinkity-drink date.  The date was planned for the same weekend I was having conflicting feelings about my situationship with Idaho/birthday twin guy. (more on that later) The morning of the date the guy texted me, "Now that I have your number I can bother you more easily." I was like ???????? why would you say that? Despite the initial ick I forced myself to get ready. It was Sunday, St. Patrick's day, so I was wearing my festive green hoody. As I drove down to Brigham I stopped