The Importance of Being Lauren

My fear of Lawn-Guys started last Summer, I will tell the story in third-person because I have to practice writing it..... It all started when a young unsuspecting thirteen year old was outside practicing Kung-Fu. The poor girl had been trying to teach her younger sister (unsuccessfully) the form and she was sweaty, tired, and irritable. When her little sister left she practiced on her own. The while doing a jump kick a truckload of Lawn-Guys passed and they honked and yelled at her. The girl was mortified! She decided to finish practicing because never in a million and one years did she think that they would come around again. This girl was completely foolish; because they did come back, and they were even louder the next time! Completely ticked at these strangers she threw down her Bo-staff in frustration because she knew she couldn't do anything about their childish attitudes, and she stomped angrily into her house. As she glared out the window she mumbled to her embarrassed...

Merry Christmas everybody!!! This afternoon I took on the chore of listening to the piled up messages on my moms phone. It's really is a grueling job, but I enjoy doing it. Anyway back to what happened...... So first I went through the usual boring messages, and then I heard the formal serious voice in the receiver say,"Um...I would like to tell you that your daughter Monkey has won our Colossal Stocking !!!" I screamed at Monkey who was playing on the computer,"You won, you won the Ginormous Colossal Stocking!!!!" I was jumping up and down while saying all of that, while Monkey's face was completely passive and she shrugged her shoulders and said,"So...." I was shocked, because when I won last year I was so excited I practically died of happiness. (check here for pictures of my Christmas booty.) When I was finished being happy for her unimpressed self; she told me that the only slip she put in was the one I filled out for her !! What can I sa...

Last night my mom took us on a walk around our neighborhood. I love walking, and it makes it even more fun when we bring Reagan the flower sniffing dog. I made it a little over half way before I had to stop to tie my untied shoe lace that kept tripping me. I decided to stop at a stop sign. As I was kneeling I felt something poking my knees badly. Finally I was able to get up to look at my knees and I cried,"No!!! I can't believe out of this whole yard I found the spot with all the thistles !!!! Ow. Ow. *pain dance* Great now I have them on my knees and my fingers.......This is just perfect." The pain dance I did was pretty amusing to my siblings. Well I'm glad that somebody got a laugh out of my pain.......

This is what the real Breakfast Bowl looks like! A couple months ago my mom and I tried the new Jack In The Box breakfast bowl; courtesy of my grandmother. I was pretty hungry that morning so I asked my mom for the big bowl, instead my wise mother said,"You've never had it before, how are you sure you'll like it?" She of course won, and we both got a small. It smelled so good and I was almost tempted to open it right then and there but I waited like the good girl I am. Finally we stopped and I opened the container holding what I thought was breakfast deliciousness; as I opened it I found that the ad on TV was a total scam! The bowl of "food" on my lap looked like really bad dog food that even my dog who eats practically everything wouldn't eat. "I'm sure it'll taste fine.", I told myself as I took a small bite of it. I was wrong, so wrong I tell you. It was absolutely horrid! I couldn't believe that somebody would actually sell...

This girl is very nice, but she dumbs herself down to impress the boys. (I'm not quite sure why ) So this post is not against her, and I'm not trying to be mean. Yesterday one of the rude boys in my class asked the girl mentioned above,"Hey, did you know that I have a pet ferret?" "A ferret!” she exclaimed in a valley girl voice that I usually only hear in movies . "Isn't that like a half bird thing?" All the rude boys laughed so hard that they fell of their rear ends. "What?", cried the girl in a fake pitiful (valley girl) voice. "I know that ferrets are half bird, half rat animals!" I was so shocked that somebody would actually say something like that! The shock was so great that I couldn't move from the doorway where I was attempting to make my escape from those people. (I use the term people lightly, they're more like savages.) Her absolutely brilliant response to what the rude boys said next was,"*giggle* ...

A few minutes ago after I finished working on the awfulness called Algebra. I felt like my head was going to implode from all the knowledge that I had just attained from studying, so I decided to rest my head on the inflated balloon that rested on the shelf right next to me. It felt really good...... until I moved a little bit, and then B A N G !!!!! For about five minutes after my accident I was seeing psychedelic colors flying at me from all around the room, and seeing my sister in double! After I recovered from that I realized that my balloon was not free, but that he was beimg held captive to the Evil Decorated Cement Block Party Balloon Weight Thingy ! (I knew my balloon wasn't evil enough to lead me unto major head injuries!) *Lesson learned from this: Do not use a balloon for a pillow, because it may be working (under captivity) for the Evil Decorated Cement Block Party Balloon Weight Thingy ....That is all.*

Monday afternoon I had the pleasure of watching the highly anticipated movie Twilight ! I thought the movie was okay , the music was fantabulous though, and the people were extremely good looking. My mom and I laughed a lot throughout the movies running time. I almost passed out from lack of breathing because I was laughing so hard when Edward kisses Bella's forehead. (It looked like a lip-suction cup on her forehead.) And again at the very end when Bella wants Edward to bite her and Bella's eyes are rolling all over the place in anticipation!!!!! That was the greatest!!! I liked the movie don't get me wrong, but it had so much potential to be better. They put way too many "wink, wink" moments for me to take it too seriously. I loved Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and of course Edward! They are my favorite vampires!!! Now tell me what you thought of the movie........... This scene was totally awesome!! His......Hair......Is.....Perfect!!!! The best pictures of Robert P...

Behold, the latest dorky thing that I have done.......... Cameo and I were partners for our Young Women class a couple weeks ago, and the lesson was on "How To Be In The World, Not Of It". So each group had to choose a scroll and read the problem on it, and then come up with a solution. I was still embarrassed from something I had said earlier so Cameo went up and got our scroll, when she came back she whispered,"I have a good feeling about this one, it was totally calling out to me!" As she was unrolling it my heart sank when I saw the title was "Chastity and Virtue".... I chose to go last because I had to read about "Chastity". My face was burning when I got up to the front and started reading. I wasn't paying attention to the things that I was reading and I started to let my mind wander, and then I heard myself say,"You should not commit " sexual transmissions "!" That's when I heard the gasps, and then the burst of...

Sister Norton is one of my favorite people in the whole world! Not only is she adorable, but she's also incredibly sweet. About two months ago when James Dashner came to Texas, she invited me to go to lunch with her..........and James Dashner!!!! Not many people can say that their favorite author bought them their first ever Burger King milkshake, but at least I can! (It was really good!!!) Thank you so much for everything James and Sister Norton!!! And now without further ado the pictures from my amazing time with you guys! This is my little sister Mel Smells showing off her signed bookmark. Do you see that thing draped over my right shoulder? That's the shirt that I won!!!! It's way cool and I got it signed too!! Behold, the awesomenss of the authors table! Ewww, who did that?

I just had one of the best mornings ever!!! Last night for Mutual our class decorated Halloween cookies, and delivered them to people in our Ward. Sadly Monkey and I could not attend the activity, so I didn't think anymore about it. At about 7:00 in the morning I got up to make the lunches of my "schooler" siblings. As I stumbled across the kitchen I noticed a plateful of beautiful pumpkin shaped cookies on the counter with my name on it! (Literally) I would like to thank my teachers and all the girls in my class for this!!! It was really thoughtful of you all, and I would like you to know that I really appreciate it!!! I love you guys, and I think you're all awesomerific!!!!!!!