New York Story: NYC's Version of The Little Mermaid

New York City in the summer is Satan's literal anus. It smells bad and it's hot as hell. In an effort to help people in the city cool down, the fire department opens up the fire hydrants. Many people use the open water as a splash pad or a car wash. I preferred to close the curtains and lay in front of a fan for hours at a time. But to each their own, right?

I lived down the street from the 1 Train at 135th and used that train almost exclusively to get to Amelia and Dillon's house. The 1 train was more reliable than the life ruining M11 bus, even though I liked taking the bus to the West Side way more. Anyway, since I practically lived on their couch on the weekend, the trip from Hamilton Heights to the West Side was familiar. 

On this particular occasion, I had dinner plans with Amelia and Dillon and I was already running behind. I decided to walk on the right side of the street so I could pick up dessert at the grocery store before getting on the train. For reference, I NEVER walked on the right side of the street going west because there was always tons of dog poop on the sidewalk. 

Changing my usual route caused a chain reaction that even the biggest pessimist could not have predicted. I walked to the end of the street without incident, and stopped at the cross-walk to make sure I wasn't going to get hit by a car. I checked on the right side and then as I turned to check the left a car came speeding down the road and swerved so they could hit the giant puddle created by the open fire hydrant. I didn't even have time to compute what was happening before I was completely covered in street water. I'm talking a tsunami type of wave. I was soaked from head to toe and the water smelled terrible. 

I called Amelia and let her know that I was going to be super late for dinner, and walked my butt back up the hill to take a shower.