All By Myself: I'm Going to Die Alone

When I first started working at the university I worked out in the staff gym. There was a super cute guy who was always there after work. I thought he was super attractive and insanely strong. However, I do not talk to random strangers at the gym. Okay, let's be honest, I am not one to approach any strangers ever. I am totally fine chatting with people if they approach me first, but I am apprehensive to start conversations in public. 

Anyway, once winter hit I stopped working out altogether. Then in February the knee injury occurred, so it's been many months since I last saw the hot guy. I saw him at graduation back in May when all the offices came out to clap for the graduates. Seeing him with his coworkers made me think that he worked in the Business School. I did some university page digging and quickly found him. Y'all, if this higher education thing does work out for me, I might have a future in investigating. 

Anyway, my light stalking  research revealed that we have similar academic backgrounds and graduated with our Master's in 2021. Unfortunately, my investigation was too thorough because now I know way too much about this stranger. (A stranger that I have literally never spoken to.)

I returned to the school gym a few days ago and I asked the universe to give me a chance to have a casual conversation with the guy. While my manifestation powers are on fleek, I may need to work on manifesting specific scenarios because the universe really did me dirty tonight.

I was exhausted from my workout tonight. I was stinky, dripping sweat, my cheeks were super red, and my knee was a bit sore so I was walking with a bit of a limp. As I walked the .27 mile walk I was swinging my water bottle from one hand to other, singing a song about being stinky and sweaty, and then I started arguing with DJ Spotify because he won't stop playing music I don't like. At one point on this meandering walk I took my headphones off, and said something about how sweaty they were. When I reached the door to the parking garage I looked behind me for a second only to see the hot guy literal steps away from me. 

I. Was. Horrified. My face was already red and splotchy from the workout, but I swear it turned 3 shades darker red. Instead of going through the doors I opened, this man literally chose to jump over the wall (maybe it was the gate). You guys, we were literally parked across from each other. 

I sat in my car for a few minutes to process my embarrassment. I can't believe the universe delivered what I asked for and I ruined everything. I went home and told my parents what happened. When I finished, I exclaimed, "Oh my gosh. Why can't I just be normal???!!!" My mom shared some comforting words, "You are always singing and being weird, so it's just better that you are your true self because you can only pretend to be normal for so long."

I am still spiraling a little, but the experience reminded me that one time when I was talking about periods with my sister he was walking behind me. So perhaps I already ruined his impression of me before this incident. OR if I am lucky, he's never noticed me, and has no opinion on my weirdness. 

**In my defense, he was SO quiet. I didn't have my headphones on for half the walk and I couldn't hear anything behind me. He was basically on ninja mode.