“My nights are flatulent and unquiet.” ― Samuel Johnson (1772)

- June 19, 2023

I am super excited to announce that I am down to using ONE crutch! I am able to go up and down the stairs much easier, walk faster, and put weight on my left leg. Let me tell you, being able to get up and down the stairs has been life changing! My outings the last 5 weeks have been limited (except for appointments) because it was so difficult to deal with the stairs. I feel like I have so much more freedom now! I even went to the grocery store with my mom on Saturday. I rode in the little mobility cart and I was FLYING.

At PT on Thursday, I was able to bend my leg to 75% without pain, and 80% with a little pulling. I completed 10 minutes on the exercise bike, 10 minutes on the treadmill (my brace slid down and started cutting into my ankle), and leg lifts with 2lbs weights on my ankles. I am always a little apprehensive when trying new exercises, much to the chagrin of my physical therapist. My most used phrase is, "Just give me a second, I need to think about this." One of the new exercises I was assigned this week was shifting my weight back and forth from my right leg to left leg. My PT said, "It's like a middle school dance." I also practiced shifting my weight from front to back, with the injured leg in front.

I found out that my right knee hyperextends when I walk. He pointed it out and asked if I have ever noticed it. I told him how Logan hates working out with me, because my knees freak him out. I might need to get that knee fixed next (oy vey). I also told him about the origin story of my ACL tear, and then he said, "Let me guess, you didn't cry when it happened." I regaled him with the story of the ancient Advil the bishop gave me and how I couldn't walk the next morning. I was talking super fast, and then he interrupted to say, "Seriously. How much caffeine did you have today. Did you have coffee? Why are you so jittery?" I don't drink caffeine on the regular because it makes me sleepy, and I only drink coffee when I go out with friends. I am just extremely anxious and I talk really fast. I think that I am jittery because I have a lot of energy that I haven't been able to exert because of my injury. I also can't sleep at night because I'm anxious about my knee. I am awake every hour on the hour most of the time. I realized in that moment that I should probably get back into therapy. I think my anxiety has gotten a lot worse since getting sustaining the injury.

I had one of the last appointments of the day, so the therapy room was practically empty. An older lady was on the bike next to me, and I said, "Oooh lets race." She laughed and her PT and I talked about NYC. Then I chatted with my PT and another patient about living off the grid. They had Homestead Rescue on the History Channel. We talked about our off-grid survival plans, and the other patient said that the best food source is rabbits. Maybe we'll start a commune. Haha. At one point in the show the team tries to bring a small cabin to the plot of land, but they struggled to maneuver the cabin through the trees. I made a snarky comment about poor planning and introduced the idea of doing an IKEA-esque house in the future. My PT was across the room and yelled, "I know you're not making fun of Homestead Rescue!!!" I laughed and yelled back about my ideas and why I think I would do a better job.

One of my exercises requires using a band to pull my leg into a bending position. For some reason my foot against the PT table was making way more noise than normal. Every time I moved my foot back the friction caused by my foot and table would make a squeaky fart noise. My PT moved like 4 feet away from me when the sounds started. I was too embarrassed by the (not fart) squeaking, so I let him assume the worst. I thought of the comic below, because I was NOT farting, but it sure sounded like I was. I would like to state for the record that I made sure to only eat non-fart inducing foods all day because I did not want to be a fart risk PT.