HELP! I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up
My family is hosting the church "chat and chew" event tomorrow. I haven't been able to help with very many chores since my surgery, so I wanted to exert some effort to contribute. I decided that cleaning the bathroom would be the easiest task because it's a small space. It took me way longer than usual, but in 30 minutes I cleaned the sink, mirrors, and toilet. As I was making my way over to clean the shower, I accidently knocked over some cleaning products and had to clean up a spill. I thought I had dried all the bleach with a few paper towels, and didn't realize that some of the bleach was on the bottom of my foot. So when I got up to clean the shower I put my right foot down to take a step, and then next thing I know I am air-bound.
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| Caught me slippin' |
When I gained consciousness I freaked out. Apparently I had blacked out when the back of my head hit the (recently cleaned) toilet bowl. I sat there for a minute dazed and trying to assess the damage. My braced leg was sticking up, and I reached behind my head to see if my head split open. I breathed a sigh of relief that I didn't die and I wasn't bleeding. I was mostly freaked out because my titties were OUT. I was shirtless because I didn't want to get bleach stains on my clothes. I would have died a second death if my family or medical personnel had to see me lying on the floor dead and topless. I am so grateful I only got a concussion and ACL/meniscus reinjury anxiety. If I had died from body slamming the floor and head-butting the toilet I don't think I would be able to rest in the afterlife.
Anyway, I got my humbled ass up off the floor and prayed that I didn't rip any stitches or the ACL hardware. Then I cleaned the shower, took a shower, and grumpily went to my room. Stef came in an hour or so later and was like, "Why are you being so grumpy"? I was mad and channeled my inner Tiger King (video below), and said, "Damnnnn I could have lost my life and none of y'all came to check on me. I got a whole ass concussion and my 200+ pound body hit the floor. Nobody heard it? Nobody investigated? Y'all are so freaking fake. I could have been laying there bleeding out."
Stef shrugged and said, "We would have found out eventually when one of us needed to use the bathroom. Anyway, you should have called for help. I thought the little boys dropped something on the stairs. I didn't know that sound was you." 😐 I calmed down after the pounding in my head went away, but boooooyyyyy I was upset.
I did some of my PT exercises after the incident to make sure I didn't lose my range of motion. My knee crackled a few times when I did the heel slides, but other than that, it seems like everything is fine. I iced it for 30 minutes just in case and now I am praying that I didn't mess anything up. I am so tired of having to do what I call the Veggie Tales hop. I seriously feel like Larry the Cucumber when I first get up in the morning or when I use the bathroom. Balancing all my weight at hopping around on one leg is such a freaking drag.
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